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I Advice - Witherspoon and Phillippe Split—Why?
If you are looking for mortgage note buyers on the East Coast, you're not alone. The East Coast has always been an area with higher education levels than the rest of the country, which translates into higher incomes and, consequently, higher real estate property values.Many pieces of real estate, whether it be your residential home, or a commercial property, are sold via seller financing.Seller financing is a powerful way of selling real estate because it opens up your property to a larger segment of the market since there is no bank involved. The seller carries the note, and receives payments. The seller also assumes the risk of the note, which includes the payor of the note defaulting.Many circumstances can arise which will cause a note holder to look for a mortgage note buyer on the East Coast.Maybe you want to fund a new business venture. Maybe you need the money to put a child through college, or you have a medical emergency. Perhaps you are just sick of the hassle of the endless paperwork you are required to keep on your note. Or maybe you are just worried constantly because you have to live with the risk of being the note holder, and know that the person m
- Praise
- Flattery
- The conditional approval we get from people when we do what they want
- Sex
- Money
- Success in our careers
- Power
- Drugs and alcohol
- Shopping
- Gambling
FALLING IN LOVE: THE NATURE AND EFFECT OF IMITATION LOVE Even though Imitation Love cannot give us genuine, lasting happiness, it does feel good, and if Real Love is either unknown to us or unavailable, we'll go to great lengths to get enough Imitation Love to feel good temporarily. In the absence of sufficient Real Love, we're strongly
I believe that President Bush's attempt to privatize Social Security (picture)would have created a nation of investors, would have left people far better off at retirement than the current system, and would have led to enormous growth for the economy as a whole. But the media and liberals argued that the policy was simply "too radical" and succeeded to undermine the support necessary to make it become law.Bush should have started with something far easier to implement -- the privatization of Unemployment Insurance. This would be easier for several reasons:* The number of people who will ever need unemployment insurance is considerably less than those who will need Social Security. Therefore it is "safer" to implement in this arena, than in something like Social Security. In other words, it would be perceived as a "minor experiment," rather than a radical shift in policy.* This policy could have substantial flexibility in plan design, allowing individuals to store up money for the purpose of creating a business at the event of unemployment. This is something many would find attractive and would easily build support.* Because we have enjoyed a few decades of low un
How could this be? Just months ago in her Oscar acceptance speech, Reese Witherspoon thanked her beloved husband, and now they're divorcing. Wasn't this a fairy tale marriage?
When people are looking for a partner, some of the characteristics they most commonly seek include:
- Good looks
- Sexual appeal
- Financial stability
- Sense of humor
- Ability to have fun
It's virtually certain that their marriage-like almost all marriages-was doomed from the very beginning, from the word "hello," not the words "I do." Why?
In order to be happy, what we all want more than anything else is to feel loved. Our souls require feeling loved in just as real a way as our bodies require air and food.
A NEW DEFINITION OF LOVE: REAL LOVE
But not just any kind of love will do. The only kind of love that can fill us up and make us whole emotionally is Real Love.
Real Love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves.
It's also Real Love when other people care about our happiness unconditionally. With Real Love, people are not disappointed or angry when we make our foolish mistakes, when we don't do what they want, or even when we inconvenience them personally.
Conditional Love
Sadly, few of us have sufficiently received or given Real Love. From the time we were small children, we observed that when we didn't fight with our sisters, didn't make too much noise in the car, got good grades, and were otherwise obedient and cooperative, our parents and others smiled at us, patted our heads, and spoke kindly. With their words and behavior, they told us what good boys and girls we were, and we felt loved.
But what happened when we did fight with our sisters, made too much noise, got bad grades, and dragged mud across the clean living room carpet? Did people smile at us then or speak gentle, loving words? No-they frowned, sighed with disappointment, and often spoke in harsh tones. Just as the positive behaviors of other people communicated to us that we were loved, we could interpret the withdrawal of those behaviors only as an indication that we were not being loved. Although it was unintentional, our parents and others taught us this terrible message: "When you're good, I love you, but when you're not, I don't-or certainly I love you a great deal less."
This conditional love can give us brief moments of satisfaction, but we're still left with a huge hole in our souls, because only Real Love can make us genuinely happy. When someone is genuinely concerned about our happiness, we feel connected to that person. We feel included in his or her life, and in that instant we are no longer alone. Each moment of unconditional acceptance creates a living thread to the person who accepts us, and these threads weave a powerful bond that fills us with a genuine and lasting happiness. Nothing but Real Love can do that. In addition, when we know that even one person loves us unconditionally, we feel a connection to everyone else. We feel included in the family of all mankind, of which that one person is a part.
WHAT WE DO WITHOUT REAL LOVE: IMITATION LOVE
If we don't have enough Real Love in our lives, the resulting emptiness is unbearable. We then compulsively try to fill our emptiness with whatever feels good in the moment-money, anger, sex, alcohol, drugs, violence, and the conditional approval of others. Anything we use as a substitute for Real Love becomes a form of Imitation Love, which includes, among others:
- Praise
- Flattery
- The conditional approval we get from people when we do what they want
- Sex
- Money
- Success in our careers
- Power
- Drugs and alcohol
- Shopping
- Gambling
FALLING IN LOVE: THE NATURE AND EFFECT OF IMITATION LOVE Even though Imitation Love cannot give us genuine, lasting happiness, it does feel good, and if Real Love is either unknown to us or unavailable, we'll go to great lengths to get enough Imitation Love to feel good temporarily. In the absence of sufficient Real Love, we're strongly
1) For your big ticket product you could create a course that teaches people exactly what to do to start their own business in the niche – for example, how to start a dog training business. You would want to make it completely self-contained – it would give them everything they need to start their own business – including all the training, all the procedures and techniques, all the paperwork – everything. In fact, you could probably charge $10,000 for something like this instead of $5000 – but at $5000 it is a steal – and you want the high-ticket item that you are using for the top of the sales funnel to be somewhat affordable.2) You could create a complete program that shows someone how they can take an existing offline business and duplicate it online – show them how they can sell all over the country, or the world – instead of just being limited to their backyard. You would want to make it easily cookie cutter and duplicatable. And keep in mind for something like this you can outsource some of what you would need to include – for example, if you need a course that will show them exactly how to set up their web site, buy the rights to one and include it – or better yet, impro
A NEW DEFINITION OF LOVE: REAL LOVE
But not just any kind of love will do. The only kind of love that can fill us up and make us whole emotionally is Real Love.
Real Love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves.
It's also Real Love when other people care about our happiness unconditionally. With Real Love, people are not disappointed or angry when we make our foolish mistakes, when we don't do what they want, or even when we inconvenience them personally.
Conditional Love
Sadly, few of us have sufficiently received or given Real Love. From the time we were small children, we observed that when we didn't fight with our sisters, didn't make too much noise in the car, got good grades, and were otherwise obedient and cooperative, our parents and others smiled at us, patted our heads, and spoke kindly. With their words and behavior, they told us what good boys and girls we were, and we felt loved.
But what happened when we did fight with our sisters, made too much noise, got bad grades, and dragged mud across the clean living room carpet? Did people smile at us then or speak gentle, loving words? No-they frowned, sighed with disappointment, and often spoke in harsh tones. Just as the positive behaviors of other people communicated to us that we were loved, we could interpret the withdrawal of those behaviors only as an indication that we were not being loved. Although it was unintentional, our parents and others taught us this terrible message: "When you're good, I love you, but when you're not, I don't-or certainly I love you a great deal less."
This conditional love can give us brief moments of satisfaction, but we're still left with a huge hole in our souls, because only Real Love can make us genuinely happy. When someone is genuinely concerned about our happiness, we feel connected to that person. We feel included in his or her life, and in that instant we are no longer alone. Each moment of unconditional acceptance creates a living thread to the person who accepts us, and these threads weave a powerful bond that fills us with a genuine and lasting happiness. Nothing but Real Love can do that. In addition, when we know that even one person loves us unconditionally, we feel a connection to everyone else. We feel included in the family of all mankind, of which that one person is a part.
WHAT WE DO WITHOUT REAL LOVE: IMITATION LOVE
If we don't have enough Real Love in our lives, the resulting emptiness is unbearable. We then compulsively try to fill our emptiness with whatever feels good in the moment-money, anger, sex, alcohol, drugs, violence, and the conditional approval of others. Anything we use as a substitute for Real Love becomes a form of Imitation Love, which includes, among others:
- Praise
- Flattery
- The conditional approval we get from people when we do what they want
- Sex
- Money
- Success in our careers
- Power
- Drugs and alcohol
- Shopping
- Gambling
FALLING IN LOVE: THE NATURE AND EFFECT OF IMITATION LOVE Even though Imitation Love cannot give us genuine, lasting happiness, it does feel good, and if Real Love is either unknown to us or unavailable, we'll go to great lengths to get enough Imitation Love to feel good temporarily. In the absence of sufficient Real Love, we're strongly
Are you frustrated with your affiliate programs?I used to be. Very frustrated! One day, in sheer desperation, I wrote to one of my affiliate programs and suggested that the market was now saturated with their product - it was no longer possible to sell it.The next day I received a very nice reply. "The Internet is HUGE", they said. "We predict it will be five years before the market is saturated with our product. And long before that, we will have introduced our next product." They were right, of course. The problem was not with the market (the Internet is huge). Nor was the problem with their product. The problem was in the way I was presenting it.Since then, my affiliate sales have soared. Why? Because I learnt a few secrets to winning the affiliate game. Here they are:1. Choose affiliate programs that relate very closely to the theme of your website. Let me give you an example. Of the three affiliate products I sell from my web site, the one that does best by a long way is an eBook that shows people how to generate free Ezine advertising. Why does it do so well? Because my website is a directory of ezines and most of my visitors are already interested in Ezine
But what happened when we did fight with our sisters, made too much noise, got bad grades, and dragged mud across the clean living room carpet? Did people smile at us then or speak gentle, loving words? No-they frowned, sighed with disappointment, and often spoke in harsh tones. Just as the positive behaviors of other people communicated to us that we were loved, we could interpret the withdrawal of those behaviors only as an indication that we were not being loved. Although it was unintentional, our parents and others taught us this terrible message: "When you're good, I love you, but when you're not, I don't-or certainly I love you a great deal less."
This conditional love can give us brief moments of satisfaction, but we're still left with a huge hole in our souls, because only Real Love can make us genuinely happy. When someone is genuinely concerned about our happiness, we feel connected to that person. We feel included in his or her life, and in that instant we are no longer alone. Each moment of unconditional acceptance creates a living thread to the person who accepts us, and these threads weave a powerful bond that fills us with a genuine and lasting happiness. Nothing but Real Love can do that. In addition, when we know that even one person loves us unconditionally, we feel a connection to everyone else. We feel included in the family of all mankind, of which that one person is a part.
WHAT WE DO WITHOUT REAL LOVE: IMITATION LOVE
If we don't have enough Real Love in our lives, the resulting emptiness is unbearable. We then compulsively try to fill our emptiness with whatever feels good in the moment-money, anger, sex, alcohol, drugs, violence, and the conditional approval of others. Anything we use as a substitute for Real Love becomes a form of Imitation Love, which includes, among others:
- Praise
- Flattery
- The conditional approval we get from people when we do what they want
- Sex
- Money
- Success in our careers
- Power
- Drugs and alcohol
- Shopping
- Gambling
FALLING IN LOVE: THE NATURE AND EFFECT OF IMITATION LOVE Even though Imitation Love cannot give us genuine, lasting happiness, it does feel good, and if Real Love is either unknown to us or unavailable, we'll go to great lengths to get enough Imitation Love to feel good temporarily. In the absence of sufficient Real Love, we're strongly
Well there are at least some Canadian Citizens or perhaps middle eastern folks living there who side with the radical fanatical Iranian leadership, as the plot to manufacture nuclear warheads to put on top of high-tech Chinese bought ICBMs to blow Israel off the map. In fact one gentleman and let’s just call her Cathy from Calgary makes a real cute cut down comment recently on this issue while debating on a blog, as she states; “Now that Mike from the USA and the lunatic brigade has vented its spleen here on this board, it is time to step back and face the facts.”Well this surely caught a reaction from Mike; “Oh really Cathy now, because last time I was in Edmonton, most of the folks there were into porn, drinking and bar fights. Most of their brains were frozen in fact and you had to act stupid just to fit in and have conversation with them. The only smart folks there are the one’s who own companies or about 20% of those who work in Oil Industry. So take that right back at you, but who knows Cathy maybe Climate Change will fix all that ehy? So, stop insulting me or I will not let up, I am getting tired of this. I know what I am talking about here. This is not a tirade or some nut ca
WHAT WE DO WITHOUT REAL LOVE: IMITATION LOVE
If we don't have enough Real Love in our lives, the resulting emptiness is unbearable. We then compulsively try to fill our emptiness with whatever feels good in the moment-money, anger, sex, alcohol, drugs, violence, and the conditional approval of others. Anything we use as a substitute for Real Love becomes a form of Imitation Love, which includes, among others:
- Praise
- Flattery
- The conditional approval we get from people when we do what they want
- Sex
- Money
- Success in our careers
- Power
- Drugs and alcohol
- Shopping
- Gambling
FALLING IN LOVE: THE NATURE AND EFFECT OF IMITATION LOVE Even though Imitation Love cannot give us genuine, lasting happiness, it does feel good, and if Real Love is either unknown to us or unavailable, we'll go to great lengths to get enough Imitation Love to feel good temporarily. In the absence of sufficient Real Love, we're strongly
Would you like to save money on your mortgage? Over 50% of homebuyers are wasting money by paying over the odds for their mortgage every month. This is normally due to the fact that they’re paying their lender’s standard variable mortgage rate.These standard variable rates are frequently 2 percentage points higher than lots of the best market deals, so the simplest way of saving money is to switch deals. If someone has a ?100,000 loan and switches from a standard variable rate, there will be a saving of around ?1000 per year for each one percentage point in the interest rate. As the difference is often 2%, this would save ?2000 every year.Contrary to common belief, remortgaging is relatively easy and hassle-free. More and more lenders are specializing in re-mortgage packages and frequently offer fee-free deals with legal fees thrown in. The whole thing is normally completed in around six weeks.Re-mortgaging is not simply to do with the money saving side of things; you can also make use of some of the equity which has been built in the value of your property. Borrowing via your mortgage is much cheaper than doing so through a personal loan.If you’re already a buy-
- Praise
- Flattery
- The conditional approval we get from people when we do what they want
- Sex
- Money
- Success in our careers
- Power
- Drugs and alcohol
- Shopping
- Gambling
FALLING IN LOVE: THE NATURE AND EFFECT OF IMITATION LOVE Even though Imitation Love cannot give us genuine, lasting happiness, it does feel good, and if Real Love is either unknown to us or unavailable, we'll go to great lengths to get enough Imitation Love to feel good temporarily. In the absence of sufficient Real Love, we're strongly attracted to anyone who gives us Imitation Love, and in order to get Imitation Love from people, we tend to give it to them. Most relationships, therefore, are based on the trading of Imitation Love. Men, for example, tend to offer flattery and conditional approval to women in exchange for sex.
When we find someone who gives us more Imitation Love than anyone else has, and when we give them more in return than they have received from others, we "fall in love." Falling in love is rarely anything more than the relatively equal and abundant exchange of Imitation Love. That may not be romantic, but it's nonetheless true. When a guy sees a girl across a crowded room and says to his friends, "I think I'm in love," is there anyone on the planet who believe that his true meaning is, "I've fallen into a sudden unconditional concern for her happiness"? No, he's expressing a belief that he'll get more Imitation Love from her than he would from anyone else he can think of. We tend to start our relationships on the basis of how much Imitation Love we anticipate we'll receive from that partner, and that's a disastrous foundation for a relationship.
When Ryan Phillipe and Reese Witherspoon met in conjunction with a film they were doing together, the setting was glamorous and exciting. They both had all the praise, power, money, sex, and other qualities that anyone could want in a partner. The trading of Imitation Love was very abundant, and the feelings they got from that were exhilarating in the beginning. In order to guarantee that they would continue to get those feelings for a lifetime, they married each other. That's almost always why people get married: to guarantee that their partner will keep making them as happy as he or she did in the beginning of the relationship.
As I've said before, however, the effect of Imitation Love always fades, as Ryan and Reese discovered-as almost all couples discover. They really enjoyed the initial exchange of Imitation Love, but it wasn't long before that level of praise, power, and pleasure wasn't as rewarding as it once had been. When people say the "excitement has worn off" in a relationship, they're just describing the fleeting effects of Imitation Love.
What a miserable state of affairs. When they first met, what Ryan and Reese both needed was Real Love, but neither of them had ever felt much unconditional love, so there was no way they could have loved one another as they needed. We simply can't give what we don't have. In the absence of Real Love, they offered one another what they did have-Imitation Love in its various forms-and they gave all they had. Imitation Love does feel good, and because they were both giving it with all their hearts, they were satisfied with their relationship in the beginning. But Imitation Love is absolutely guaranteed to fail in the long run.
THE REAL REASON RELATIONSHIPS FAIL
I have counseled with thousands of couples, most of them married. Remember that people usually get married only after they have sifted through many potential partners, finally choosing the one they believe will provide them with the fulfillment of their dreams. Ideally, marriages should be the cream of all relationships, the best of the best.
And yet 60% of these dream relationships end in divorce, and the vast majority of those who remain married are settling for far less than they had once hoped for. When troubled couples come to me for counseling, invariably they ask some variation on the question, "What happened?" Both partners are absolutely befuddled, wondering how they could possibly have moved from being soulmates to being combatants.
In their attempts to understand wh
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