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  • I Advice - Letting Go is Hard to Do: Reflections on Relationships

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    job of your healing to your partner. When the rebound relationship fails you feel devastated.

    We often give the responsibility for our healing to a former spouse, our rebound relationship or another love partner. We may not be able to let go because it’s scary. Fear of the unknown. Fear of

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    You may remember all the good times you had, the special way you greeted each other. You close your eyes and you can almost feel him next to you. Former spouses or love partners can become larger than life. We tend to remember only the good. We put our former partner on a pedestal. No mere mortal could ever live up to those standards so we hold on to the past. You may dream that one day you will open the door and your former lover will be standing there pledging his undying love to you. Or your spouse may have died and you struggle with a feeling that you would betray your spouse if you were to fall in love. We may have made a promise consciously or unconsciously long ago to another that keeps us from letting go.

    Letting go is acknowledging the loss of many dreams including: growing old together or the loss of not having children or grandchildren together. Letting go requires us to face reality, to see both our ex and ourselves as we really are, our flaws, our imperfections, and our humanity. For many this is just too painful. Rebound relationships can be particularly hard to let go of. You met at a time when you were particularly vulnerable and somehow gave much of the job of your healing to your partner. When the rebound relationship fails you feel devastated.

    We often give the responsibility for our healing to a former spouse, our rebound relationship or another love partner. We may not be able to let go because it’s scary. Fear of the unknown. Fear of

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    ould ever live up to those standards so we hold on to the past. You may dream that one day you will open the door and your former lover will be standing there pledging his undying love to you. Or your spouse may have died and you struggle with a feeling that you would betray your spouse if you were to fall in love. We may have made a promise consciously or unconsciously long ago to another that keeps us from letting go.

    Letting go is acknowledging the loss of many dreams including: growing old together or the loss of not having children or grandchildren together. Letting go requires us to face reality, to see both our ex and ourselves as we really are, our flaws, our imperfections, and our humanity. For many this is just too painful. Rebound relationships can be particularly hard to let go of. You met at a time when you were particularly vulnerable and somehow gave much of the job of your healing to your partner. When the rebound relationship fails you feel devastated.

    We often give the responsibility for our healing to a former spouse, our rebound relationship or another love partner. We may not be able to let go because it’s scary. Fear of the unknown. Fear of

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    to fall in love. We may have made a promise consciously or unconsciously long ago to another that keeps us from letting go.

    Letting go is acknowledging the loss of many dreams including: growing old together or the loss of not having children or grandchildren together. Letting go requires us to face reality, to see both our ex and ourselves as we really are, our flaws, our imperfections, and our humanity. For many this is just too painful. Rebound relationships can be particularly hard to let go of. You met at a time when you were particularly vulnerable and somehow gave much of the job of your healing to your partner. When the rebound relationship fails you feel devastated.

    We often give the responsibility for our healing to a former spouse, our rebound relationship or another love partner. We may not be able to let go because it’s scary. Fear of the unknown. Fear of

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    to face reality, to see both our ex and ourselves as we really are, our flaws, our imperfections, and our humanity. For many this is just too painful. Rebound relationships can be particularly hard to let go of. You met at a time when you were particularly vulnerable and somehow gave much of the job of your healing to your partner. When the rebound relationship fails you feel devastated.

    We often give the responsibility for our healing to a former spouse, our rebound relationship or another love partner. We may not be able to let go because it’s scary. Fear of the unknown. Fear of

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    job of your healing to your partner. When the rebound relationship fails you feel devastated.

    We often give the responsibility for our healing to a former spouse, our rebound relationship or another love partner. We may not be able to let go because it’s scary. Fear of the unknown. Fear of being lonely. Fear of not being able to take care of ourselves. Fear of never being loved again. Fear keeps us from moving on. Letting go requires facing these fears and taking charge of your own life. We also stay connected with our ex through anger, yelling, and blame. We keep going back to court. We deplete our energy by trying to get even and then instead of feeling better we feel even worse. Or we are angry at God that death cheated us out of the only one that has ever loved us.

    It is easier to let go if you work on other areas of your life. Do you have a good group of friends? Is your career going well? Do you have interests and hobbies that you enjoy? Do you take good care of yourself? Or do you invest your energy in the dead relationship instead of in yourself and in your future? Accept that you and your former lover partner will not get back together.

    Have faith in yourself. You possess everything you need for your own healing. If you feel stuck or that you will never get over this relationship then talk with friends or see a therapist. Discover what is keeping you from letting go, moving on and being able to create the love and relationships you

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