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    an’t understand how she could see me this way!” she told me in our counseling session.

    Nedra’s inclination was to

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    Nedra, one of my clients, was quite upset when she received an email from her friend, Roxanne, ending their friendship. The email was quite blaming, telling Nedra that she was narcissistic, selfish, and uncaring. Roxanne complained that Nedra just talked about herself and was never there for Roxanne. “You don’t listen to me. You don’t care about me. You are never there for me when I need you.”

    Nedra was stunned. In her experience, this was not going on at all. “I just can’t understand how she could see me this way!” she told me in our counseling session.

    Nedra’s inclination was to

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    The email was quite blaming, telling Nedra that she was narcissistic, selfish, and uncaring. Roxanne complained that Nedra just talked about herself and was never there for Roxanne. “You don’t listen to me. You don’t care about me. You are never there for me when I need you.”

    Nedra was stunned. In her experience, this was not going on at all. “I just can’t understand how she could see me this way!” she told me in our counseling session.

    Nedra’s inclination was to

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    ra just talked about herself and was never there for Roxanne. “You don’t listen to me. You don’t care about me. You are never there for me when I need you.”

    Nedra was stunned. In her experience, this was not going on at all. “I just can’t understand how she could see me this way!” she told me in our counseling session.

    Nedra’s inclination was to

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    never there for me when I need you.”

    Nedra was stunned. In her experience, this was not going on at all. “I just can’t understand how she could see me this way!” she told me in our counseling session.

    Nedra’s inclination was to

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    an’t understand how she could see me this way!” she told me in our counseling session.

    Nedra’s inclination was to write it off as projection. In her mind, this had nothing to do with her.

    “Nedra,” I said to her, “Let’s see if we can find the lesson here. There is always something to learn from a situation like this. While this might indeed be a projection, there is some way in which it has something to do with you. I’m wondering how you might have abandoned yourself in your friendship with Roxanne.”

    “Well, often I didn’t speak up for myself. Roxanne wasn’t really open, so I w

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