ermission to defer the conversation to a time when you can give your undivided attention.

However, when we talk about a conversation that’s meaningful, this in and of itself can mean different things to different people. When I think of having a meaningful conversation with my husband, or in guiding couples I

How do you talk meaningfully with your partner? Herein lies the quest of so many men and women seeking to enhance their relationships. Fortunately, there's been a lot of research done to help you talk the language of love you so longingly seek. Please bear in mind, however, that I can only squeeze a sampling into an article so let’s begin with a few choice points on the subject. First off, most people are overwhelmed in handling just what they have to do for themselves day-to-day to keep up with the demands of their work schedule. So when we think about how to talk meaningfully with our partners, there are really myriad reasons and questions that come into play.

The biggest issue is usually timing. And as you may already have experienced, timing is everything in a relationship. Often we may want to sit down and talk meaningfully with our partners, but we’re just too tired or too overwhelmed by everything we have to juggle. So, it’s important to first think about “when” we can actually sit down and talk because a meaningful conversation starts in a milieu where the timing is good for both of you. This is accomplished by simply checking in with each other and asking; and simple act which sets a very critical ground rule that gives you permission to defer the conversation to a time when you can give your undivided attention.

However, when we talk about a conversation that’s meaningful, this in and of itself can mean different things to different people. When I think of having a meaningful conversation with my husband, or in guiding couples I’

n article so let’s begin with a few choice points on the subject. First off, most people are overwhelmed in handling just what they have to do for themselves day-to-day to keep up with the demands of their work schedule. So when we think about how to talk meaningfully with our partners, there are really myriad reasons and questions that come into play.

The biggest issue is usually timing. And as you may already have experienced, timing is everything in a relationship. Often we may want to sit down and talk meaningfully with our partners, but we’re just too tired or too overwhelmed by everything we have to juggle. So, it’s important to first think about “when” we can actually sit down and talk because a meaningful conversation starts in a milieu where the timing is good for both of you. This is accomplished by simply checking in with each other and asking; and simple act which sets a very critical ground rule that gives you permission to defer the conversation to a time when you can give your undivided attention.

However, when we talk about a conversation that’s meaningful, this in and of itself can mean different things to different people. When I think of having a meaningful conversation with my husband, or in guiding couples I

asons and questions that come into play.

The biggest issue is usually timing. And as you may already have experienced, timing is everything in a relationship. Often we may want to sit down and talk meaningfully with our partners, but we’re just too tired or too overwhelmed by everything we have to juggle. So, it’s important to first think about “when” we can actually sit down and talk because a meaningful conversation starts in a milieu where the timing is good for both of you. This is accomplished by simply checking in with each other and asking; and simple act which sets a very critical ground rule that gives you permission to defer the conversation to a time when you can give your undivided attention.

However, when we talk about a conversation that’s meaningful, this in and of itself can mean different things to different people. When I think of having a meaningful conversation with my husband, or in guiding couples I

o, it’s important to first think about “when” we can actually sit down and talk because a meaningful conversation starts in a milieu where the timing is good for both of you. This is accomplished by simply checking in with each other and asking; and simple act which sets a very critical ground rule that gives you permission to defer the conversation to a time when you can give your undivided attention.

However, when we talk about a conversation that’s meaningful, this in and of itself can mean different things to different people. When I think of having a meaningful conversation with my husband, or in guiding couples I

ermission to defer the conversation to a time when you can give your undivided attention.

However, when we talk about a conversation that’s meaningful, this in and of itself can mean different things to different people. When I think of having a meaningful conversation with my husband, or in guiding couples I’ve counseled in workshops over the years, I define it as two people sitting down and being willing to openly and honestly share their innermost thoughts and feelings because each feels safe enough to do so - even if you know that your partner may see things a bit differently.

Your sole focus is to find out what’s really going on with your partner and you must sincerely listen with the intent of understanding. Remember, it’s not about giving advice. It’s about wanting to know what’s truly important to them, what they think and how they’re feeling. This involves making time to sit down, face to face, eyeball to eyeball, and really asking questions in a way that evokes more than a superficial answer. So when you ask, “How are you feeling?” the reply is just not, “Fine, thanks.” It’s, “Let me tell you what’s really going on in my life. I’m feeling like … I’ve been thinking about … This is what I want our life to be …” Yet what usually happens when most couples say they want to sit down and talk is they end up asking “How are you doing?” in a nonchalant way or they ask task-oriented questions like, “What time are we going to have dinner tonight?” “Who’s taking the kids to soccer practice?” Just the “stuff” we deal with every single day.