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  • I Advice - Relationships - 11 Red Flags Not to Ignore

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    People do grow and change as they mature, so it is not completely unreasonable to think

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    Since we all have faults, how can we tell when we need to accept basic flaws and when we are overlooking serious issues?

    People do grow and change as they mature, so it is not completely unreasonable to think

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    duals in my practice who have ended up in life-draining relationships. In most of the cases, they saw the problems well beforehand, but tolerated them for some reason or another. In my experience, the two most common reasons for ignoring warning signs were:

    1. Having the belief that the person could change (perhaps if they are loved enough)
    2. Although they may loath the person’s behavior, they can’t break away from the cycle of connecting with someone who behaves in a similar way as a hurtful parent because they are used to this kind of behavior or they want to conquer the early injury by replaying the relationship dynamic in an adult relationship.

    Since we all have faults, how can we tell when we need to accept basic flaws and when we are overlooking serious issues?

    People do grow and change as they mature, so it is not completely unreasonable to think

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    ons for ignoring warning signs were:

    1. Having the belief that the person could change (perhaps if they are loved enough)
    2. Although they may loath the person’s behavior, they can’t break away from the cycle of connecting with someone who behaves in a similar way as a hurtful parent because they are used to this kind of behavior or they want to conquer the early injury by replaying the relationship dynamic in an adult relationship.

    Since we all have faults, how can we tell when we need to accept basic flaws and when we are overlooking serious issues?

    People do grow and change as they mature, so it is not completely unreasonable to think

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    connecting with someone who behaves in a similar way as a hurtful parent because they are used to this kind of behavior or they want to conquer the early injury by replaying the relationship dynamic in an adult relationship.

    Since we all have faults, how can we tell when we need to accept basic flaws and when we are overlooking serious issues?

    People do grow and change as they mature, so it is not completely unreasonable to think

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    Since we all have faults, how can we tell when we need to accept basic flaws and when we are overlooking serious issues?

    People do grow and change as they mature, so it is not completely unreasonable to think someone can change behavior. However there are some behaviors/attitudes that don’t change much as they are part of the person’s personality. I have compiled a short list of some behaviors that I believe should be considered red flags NOT to ignore or think they will go away with time. Notice most of the descriptors have “chronic” or “pervasive” which is to emphasize the point that these are behaviors/attitudes that persist over time.

    • Chronic anger (blow ups, irritability, moodiness, not due to a depressive disorder)
    • Chronic sarcasm (anger disguised)
    • Excessive neediness (this can be attractive to women who like a fixer upper)
    • Disparaging humor (putting others down in a subtle way, also anger disguised)
    • Punitive mindset (feels people deserve the bad things that happen to them)
    • Controlling nature (needs to mic

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