me of reference from what life had dealt us so far. And the key to it all is your surrender to actually listen to what your partner is saying, whether you agree with them or not. For you must understand where they are coming from, to also be understood in the way you mean to have your intentions interpreted.

You may not want to hear this, but if you’re serious about having a long, loving relationship then take this first step and really, really listen to your partner.

As the old adage goes, “Firs

If you’re seeking to enhance your relationship or even save your marriage, then smoothing out that bone of contention called communication is your one sure route to lasting harmony and bliss.

So let’s start by beginning to map out this seeming illusive road to marital harmony. And, to make my point along the way, please know that from time to time I will use client stories (names changed to protect their privacy, of course) in my articles so that you can better relate to and have some ah-hah moments of your own … and hopefully some laughs!

So here’s the biggie. One often hears one or both partners exclaim, “I never knew he felt like that!” or “I never knew she felt like that!” And this is why clients frequently ask me, “How do I say what I really want to say and what I actually mean to say to my partner, especially when we’re both working with already too much on our plates?”

Well, in working with couples and families for the past twenty-two years, it’s interesting to note that although roles have become more intertwined with some men even choosing to stay at home with their children, I still see some of the same problems over and over again.

Never a day goes by in my practice where a couple doesn’t admit that communication continues to be an issue. And invariably everybody wants to tell their side of the story. Everybody thinks that they’re right, and so what I would really like you to first understand — and this is so important — is that we each have our own version of reality!

So even when my clients tell me something, I’m trying to really listen to them, but what’s happening is that I’m also interpreting it the way I’m trained to hear it. And this is exactly what’s happening all the time in your relationship. One person is trying to get their side of the story across, while the other person is also trying to get their side of the story heard.

So be ever aware that we each have our own interpretation of what’s being said based on our unique frame of reference from what life had dealt us so far. And the key to it all is your surrender to actually listen to what your partner is saying, whether you agree with them or not. For you must understand where they are coming from, to also be understood in the way you mean to have your intentions interpreted.

You may not want to hear this, but if you’re serious about having a long, loving relationship then take this first step and really, really listen to your partner.

As the old adage goes, “Firs

oments of your own … and hopefully some laughs!

So here’s the biggie. One often hears one or both partners exclaim, “I never knew he felt like that!” or “I never knew she felt like that!” And this is why clients frequently ask me, “How do I say what I really want to say and what I actually mean to say to my partner, especially when we’re both working with already too much on our plates?”

Well, in working with couples and families for the past twenty-two years, it’s interesting to note that although roles have become more intertwined with some men even choosing to stay at home with their children, I still see some of the same problems over and over again.

Never a day goes by in my practice where a couple doesn’t admit that communication continues to be an issue. And invariably everybody wants to tell their side of the story. Everybody thinks that they’re right, and so what I would really like you to first understand — and this is so important — is that we each have our own version of reality!

So even when my clients tell me something, I’m trying to really listen to them, but what’s happening is that I’m also interpreting it the way I’m trained to hear it. And this is exactly what’s happening all the time in your relationship. One person is trying to get their side of the story across, while the other person is also trying to get their side of the story heard.

So be ever aware that we each have our own interpretation of what’s being said based on our unique frame of reference from what life had dealt us so far. And the key to it all is your surrender to actually listen to what your partner is saying, whether you agree with them or not. For you must understand where they are coming from, to also be understood in the way you mean to have your intentions interpreted.

You may not want to hear this, but if you’re serious about having a long, loving relationship then take this first step and really, really listen to your partner.

As the old adage goes, “Firs

lthough roles have become more intertwined with some men even choosing to stay at home with their children, I still see some of the same problems over and over again.

Never a day goes by in my practice where a couple doesn’t admit that communication continues to be an issue. And invariably everybody wants to tell their side of the story. Everybody thinks that they’re right, and so what I would really like you to first understand — and this is so important — is that we each have our own version of reality!

So even when my clients tell me something, I’m trying to really listen to them, but what’s happening is that I’m also interpreting it the way I’m trained to hear it. And this is exactly what’s happening all the time in your relationship. One person is trying to get their side of the story across, while the other person is also trying to get their side of the story heard.

So be ever aware that we each have our own interpretation of what’s being said based on our unique frame of reference from what life had dealt us so far. And the key to it all is your surrender to actually listen to what your partner is saying, whether you agree with them or not. For you must understand where they are coming from, to also be understood in the way you mean to have your intentions interpreted.

You may not want to hear this, but if you’re serious about having a long, loving relationship then take this first step and really, really listen to your partner.

As the old adage goes, “Firs

sion of reality!

So even when my clients tell me something, I’m trying to really listen to them, but what’s happening is that I’m also interpreting it the way I’m trained to hear it. And this is exactly what’s happening all the time in your relationship. One person is trying to get their side of the story across, while the other person is also trying to get their side of the story heard.

So be ever aware that we each have our own interpretation of what’s being said based on our unique frame of reference from what life had dealt us so far. And the key to it all is your surrender to actually listen to what your partner is saying, whether you agree with them or not. For you must understand where they are coming from, to also be understood in the way you mean to have your intentions interpreted.

You may not want to hear this, but if you’re serious about having a long, loving relationship then take this first step and really, really listen to your partner.

As the old adage goes, “Firs

me of reference from what life had dealt us so far. And the key to it all is your surrender to actually listen to what your partner is saying, whether you agree with them or not. For you must understand where they are coming from, to also be understood in the way you mean to have your intentions interpreted.

You may not want to hear this, but if you’re serious about having a long, loving relationship then take this first step and really, really listen to your partner.

As the old adage goes, “First seek to understand, then be understood.”