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  • I Advice - Great Relationship Advice: The Ability to Resolve Conflict

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    past, this set up quite a vicious cycle for the couple.

    This time the issue was money. Next time it could be about something else. The real conflict is about unmet emotional needs.

    What this couple has learned to do to break this cycle is simply ask s

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    Conflict in a relationship is both normal and painful. In working with couples I have found that it's the successful resolution of the conflict that strengthens the couple's bond and brings them closer together. The resolution comes only by walking through the conflict and not around it.

    There is so much that can cause conflict, everything from the big five:

    1. money

    2. sex

    3. children

    4. in-laws

    5. religion

    all the way to the proper way to wash and dry dishes.

    While conflict can be incredibly painful, a crucial point to keep in mind is that much of conflict springs from unmet emotional needs.

    Let's illustrate this point with a couple I have worked with on this particular issue. One of her primary emotional needs is to feel secure. When she feels insecure, she act aggressively and angrily. One of her partner's primary emotional needs is to feel appreciated. When he feels unappreciated, he behaves irresponsibly, usually spending too much money. In the past, this set up quite a vicious cycle for the couple.

    This time the issue was money. Next time it could be about something else. The real conflict is about unmet emotional needs.

    What this couple has learned to do to break this cycle is simply ask so

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    nflict and not around it.

    There is so much that can cause conflict, everything from the big five:

    1. money

    2. sex

    3. children

    4. in-laws

    5. religion

    all the way to the proper way to wash and dry dishes.

    While conflict can be incredibly painful, a crucial point to keep in mind is that much of conflict springs from unmet emotional needs.

    Let's illustrate this point with a couple I have worked with on this particular issue. One of her primary emotional needs is to feel secure. When she feels insecure, she act aggressively and angrily. One of her partner's primary emotional needs is to feel appreciated. When he feels unappreciated, he behaves irresponsibly, usually spending too much money. In the past, this set up quite a vicious cycle for the couple.

    This time the issue was money. Next time it could be about something else. The real conflict is about unmet emotional needs.

    What this couple has learned to do to break this cycle is simply ask s

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    and dry dishes.

    While conflict can be incredibly painful, a crucial point to keep in mind is that much of conflict springs from unmet emotional needs.

    Let's illustrate this point with a couple I have worked with on this particular issue. One of her primary emotional needs is to feel secure. When she feels insecure, she act aggressively and angrily. One of her partner's primary emotional needs is to feel appreciated. When he feels unappreciated, he behaves irresponsibly, usually spending too much money. In the past, this set up quite a vicious cycle for the couple.

    This time the issue was money. Next time it could be about something else. The real conflict is about unmet emotional needs.

    What this couple has learned to do to break this cycle is simply ask s

    Home Value Fluctuations Are NOT the End of the World!
    When discussing today's real estate market, everybody seems to have a doom and gloom type attitude: home value prices have dropped, interest rates are rising, there's too many houses for sale and not
    mary emotional needs is to feel secure. When she feels insecure, she act aggressively and angrily. One of her partner's primary emotional needs is to feel appreciated. When he feels unappreciated, he behaves irresponsibly, usually spending too much money. In the past, this set up quite a vicious cycle for the couple.

    This time the issue was money. Next time it could be about something else. The real conflict is about unmet emotional needs.

    What this couple has learned to do to break this cycle is simply ask s

    Mortgage Broker Training: How to Secure Loyalty From Realtors
    So you’ve just returned to your office after delivering an Oscar worthy presentation to a real estate agent. They’re impressed and ready to do business with you. In fact, they promised to refer
    past, this set up quite a vicious cycle for the couple.

    This time the issue was money. Next time it could be about something else. The real conflict is about unmet emotional needs.

    What this couple has learned to do to break this cycle is simply ask some questions early on in the pattern. He has learned to ask 'What are you feeling scared about?' She has learned to ask, 'In what ways are you feeling unappreciated?'

    By asking questions about unmet emotional needs, many conflicts can be resolved, and even better, avoided altogether.

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