ct and it is the outer beauty that decides the fate of the connection before anything else. So, when someone says that looks doesn't matter and it is only the inner being that should count, they might as well date a horse or a dog, because for them, only what's Q. Can you date someone regardless of how their facial or body appearance is? Does beauty have to be on the outside as well as the inside? (Marina)

A. Anyone who says that beauty doesn't matter is likely to be lying. If they are not, the statement has an association with how they view themself and their own experience. It suggests they do not consider themselves to be any great 'beauty' so they are hoping people will ignore their physicality to concentrate on the inner person. But there are some things in conflict with this approach.

First, until we open our mouths and speak, nature has only one way of bringing people together: their looks. Thus the whole process starts with whether someone's physical appearance appeals to us in any way for us to take it further and discover more about them. Then it moves to voice, then personality and finally the whole person. Yes, we have to have that inner beauty of warmth, compassion and care. But we cannot know anything about someone's inner beauty until we make physical contact and it is the outer beauty that decides the fate of the connection before anything else. So, when someone says that looks doesn't matter and it is only the inner being that should count, they might as well date a horse or a dog, because for them, only what's i

has an association with how they view themself and their own experience. It suggests they do not consider themselves to be any great 'beauty' so they are hoping people will ignore their physicality to concentrate on the inner person. But there are some things in conflict with this approach.

First, until we open our mouths and speak, nature has only one way of bringing people together: their looks. Thus the whole process starts with whether someone's physical appearance appeals to us in any way for us to take it further and discover more about them. Then it moves to voice, then personality and finally the whole person. Yes, we have to have that inner beauty of warmth, compassion and care. But we cannot know anything about someone's inner beauty until we make physical contact and it is the outer beauty that decides the fate of the connection before anything else. So, when someone says that looks doesn't matter and it is only the inner being that should count, they might as well date a horse or a dog, because for them, only what's

conflict with this approach.

First, until we open our mouths and speak, nature has only one way of bringing people together: their looks. Thus the whole process starts with whether someone's physical appearance appeals to us in any way for us to take it further and discover more about them. Then it moves to voice, then personality and finally the whole person. Yes, we have to have that inner beauty of warmth, compassion and care. But we cannot know anything about someone's inner beauty until we make physical contact and it is the outer beauty that decides the fate of the connection before anything else. So, when someone says that looks doesn't matter and it is only the inner being that should count, they might as well date a horse or a dog, because for them, only what's

rther and discover more about them. Then it moves to voice, then personality and finally the whole person. Yes, we have to have that inner beauty of warmth, compassion and care. But we cannot know anything about someone's inner beauty until we make physical contact and it is the outer beauty that decides the fate of the connection before anything else. So, when someone says that looks doesn't matter and it is only the inner being that should count, they might as well date a horse or a dog, because for them, only what's ct and it is the outer beauty that decides the fate of the connection before anything else. So, when someone says that looks doesn't matter and it is only the inner being that should count, they might as well date a horse or a dog, because for them, only what's inside that matters!!

Secondly, when we speak of looks, we are not talking about some inflexible version of beauty, or certain socially engineeered perceptions of beauty, like the Brad Pitts and Denzel Washingtons of this world. Looks are individual to the person they appeal to. That is why I adore Richard Gere and Robert de Niro, but see nothing so handsome in Brad Pitt. Yet millions of panting women would disagree with me. I am judging Gere and de Niro by my own personal interpretation of what constitutes 'beauty' which might not match that of many other women.

So, could we date someone who isn't good looking?

Yes, we could. Looks are not defined by the rest of the world, but by our own individual perception and yardstick of what we find appealing in another human being, which might then appear 'ugly' and unattractive to others. Looks are also racially, culturally and gender referenced. So what might be regarded externally as 'ugly' in one culture might be simply beautiful within it. Thus our soulmate's looks has to