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I Advice - Client Preparation for Custody Evaluations and Court-Ordered Mediation
Recently, someone told me “if I only had more discipline, I could get ahead financially”. What struck me as odd was this person recently retired from the US Marine Corps. How much more discipline could this person possible have. Then it occurred to me that perhaps discipline was not the only thing we need for stronger healthier personal finances. Perhaps self discipline only contributes to a small percentage of our financial success. Here is what I found:-- You need the RIGHT tools --I love watching commercials on TV. Recently there was a commercial that portrayed a man who was showing off the handcrafted framing hammer his dad had given him as a gift. But would he use it to frame a house? Of course not! He help up the most powerful nail gun I had ever seen and proudly proclaimed this is what it truly takes to get the job done.What tools will you use in your personal household management? Would you build a deck with a table knife and plastic screwdriver? Would you hammer a nail with a pipe wrench or the sole of your shoe? Will you spend your hard earned money without a plan or a purpose?-- You need the RIGHT budget --To begin with you need a good working monthly budget. Not just any budget. Most budgets never work or are very frustrating to use. If you use the wrong budget you might as well saw wood with a table knife. Boy, will your hand hurt after awhile.I prefer to use a monthly cash spending plan called a “zero based budget”. It is simple, easy to use and it works every time. It can be done on paper or inside of an MS-Excel spreadsheet. First, put your income (take home pay) at the top. Second, set a little aside for giving and saving for emergencies. Third, pay all your basic expenses such as housing, food, transportation and clothing. Last pay your credit card debt and miscellaneous expenses. Spend **every** dollar. Your income minus your expenses MUST equal zero or you
In the personal time line, ask: Are the children's grandparents living or dead, married or not? If living, where do the grandparents live, and are they a part of the children's lives? How many siblings does the client have, and what is his or her relationship historically an
"Give me a stock clerk with a goal and I'll give you a man who will make history. Give me a man with no goals and I'll give you a stock clerk." - JC PenneyStarting a business without a solid goal in place is a sure path to failure. For true success, your goal must be set in stone - you must know exactly where your business is going. With every step you take, your business must be striving towards that goal.Goal setting is the most important step you will take in starting your business. Setting out on a journey of business building without a goal is like setting sail without a destination. Certainly, it can be done and you will eventually arrive somewhere - but it may not be where you want to be. In fact, you may find it is anything but what you had imagined.A goal ensures that you and your business arrive at a good destination.Goal Setting Is A Serious Business DecisionWhen you start goal setting, you cannot pick just any goal ... you cannot pick wildly and hope it works for you. You must give it some very serious thought - you need to contemplate how it will affect your lifestyle, your family, your sanity.Your goal needs to take you to a place where you will be happy. A goal that doesn't take your lifestyle and family into consideration will not guarantee happiness - and will have serious consequences on your sanity.You may be successful but find your success to be a hollow victory, if you do not keep in mind what kind of success you truly want.Isn't Success Defined As Making Lots Of Money?For some it may be - for you it may not be. Making a ton of money is only one aspect of success. You could build a super-successful business - one that pours money into your bank account - but, if your goal didn't consider your lifestyle, you may find that money really doesn't buy happiness.If you become a slave to your business, it is not a true success. If making that
DRESS REHEARSAL
Many custody disputes are resolved in mediation, whether it’s court-annexed or private practice. Mediation can also be a dress rehearsal for the child-custody evaluation, because if the case is not settled in mediation, the evaluation process could be next.
The mediator's job is to reduce acrimony and get the parties to agree to a custody and parenting schedule that is in the best interests of the children. In mediation the current circumstances of the parties is paramount, although parenting history is also material. Although some court systems have a written policy permitting "extended" mediation, often the mediation meeting is a one-time appointment that often lasts 90 minutes at most, so there's no time to go into the client's past in depth. Private practice settings offer more flexibility and less time pressure, but the basics of both types of mediation settings are the same.
Contrasted with mediation, big-picture information is always used in evaluation. For preparation purposes, both current circumstances and past history are valuable. You can help your clients organize their background information and, more important, develop a more objective perspective about their case by creating an overview of the relationship and putting the important events in the parties' and children's lives on several thematic time lines.
In the relationship time line, include when the parents met, when the parents' relationship became serious, when the parents began living together, when the parents got married, when the parents first separated, the total number of separations, the date of the last separation, and whether and when couples or family counseling was ever done. In the parenting time line, ask: What was each parent's share of custody during the first six months after separation? From the six-month mark to the end of the first year after separation? Were the significant changes in the amount of time each parent had custody over the next two years? What is the current parenting plan the parents are using?
In the personal time line, ask: Are the children's grandparents living or dead, married or not? If living, where do the grandparents live, and are they a part of the children's lives? How many siblings does the client have, and what is his or her relationship historically and
Selling quickly is a high priority for some home sellers. A job transfer can prompt the need to relocate on short notice. When trade-up buyers find their dream home, they often need to sell their current home quickly in order to complete the purchase of the new one.Regardless of the motivating factor, when sellers decide to sell they often want to get the process started as soon as possible. But putting a home on the market prematurely can be a mistake.Some sellers insist on marketing their home before it's ready. Rather than complete the work that will make their home more salable, they offer to reduce the sale price to compensate buyers for shoddy conditions. Or they credit money to the buyers at closing. This generates fix-up money for the buyers who take responsibility for completing repairs after closing.These approaches work with some buyers. But most buyers lack the vision to imagine how a home will look in its fixed-up condition. Many buyers, particularly first-time buyers, don't have any experience fixing up homes. The entire process intimidates them. Repeat buyers may have had too much experience with the process and vow to never buy another home that needs work.In their haste to get a quick sale, some sellers jump the gun and put their home on the market while the fix-up is in progress. Notices tacked up around the house or a statement made in a flyer describe the work the sellers will complete before closing -- replacing a tired-looking linoleum floor or re-carpeting a room. This strategy rarely generates the desired results.Agents and prospective buyers remember a home the way they see it. A bright pink dining room creates a lasting impression. It's difficult for most people to imagine the bright pink transformed to a stylish taupe. And it's hard to get agents and buyers to come back to take another look after the work's completed.First-Time Tip: You may have only one chance to sell you
The mediator's job is to reduce acrimony and get the parties to agree to a custody and parenting schedule that is in the best interests of the children. In mediation the current circumstances of the parties is paramount, although parenting history is also material. Although some court systems have a written policy permitting "extended" mediation, often the mediation meeting is a one-time appointment that often lasts 90 minutes at most, so there's no time to go into the client's past in depth. Private practice settings offer more flexibility and less time pressure, but the basics of both types of mediation settings are the same.
Contrasted with mediation, big-picture information is always used in evaluation. For preparation purposes, both current circumstances and past history are valuable. You can help your clients organize their background information and, more important, develop a more objective perspective about their case by creating an overview of the relationship and putting the important events in the parties' and children's lives on several thematic time lines.
In the relationship time line, include when the parents met, when the parents' relationship became serious, when the parents began living together, when the parents got married, when the parents first separated, the total number of separations, the date of the last separation, and whether and when couples or family counseling was ever done. In the parenting time line, ask: What was each parent's share of custody during the first six months after separation? From the six-month mark to the end of the first year after separation? Were the significant changes in the amount of time each parent had custody over the next two years? What is the current parenting plan the parents are using?
In the personal time line, ask: Are the children's grandparents living or dead, married or not? If living, where do the grandparents live, and are they a part of the children's lives? How many siblings does the client have, and what is his or her relationship historically an
Free link exchange networks are popping up all over the place. What was once a way to market your website using the link space on others website is now a SEO tool. Because some search engines such as Google have implemented an algorithm to base a websites worth on the number of inbound and outbound links, links to your page are a must. But how are these links measured?Free Link ExchangesFree link exchanges can help you in many ways, including adding more back links to your website, however they can also have a reverse effect. If your page is about boats and your links are about lemon law attorneys, then the link will not help you much. In all actuality it may hurt your SEO project. Because search engines may consider this as a spammy link and may hurt your ranking.Reciprocal LinksHaving reciprocal links should help you as long as the page linking to your website is on the same theme as the one that your website is about. For instance, If you had only a few links that link to your website that are on the same theme as your website. It would be much better than having hundreds linking in that are totally different than the theme of your website.Getting LinksTo get your website noticed, you’ll need to get some links. Although this may not be an easy task, especially if your website is relatively new. It can be much easier than you think, if you take the correct approach. Simply contact webmasters of sites you’re interested in and on the same theme as your website. Usually most will turn you down, but if your website is useful and informative, some will respond and grant you a reciprocal link.Returning the FavorSome webmasters may link to you and all will be good. The inbound link pagerank may be higher than yours. If so, return the favor to a new website that is trying to get into your niche, if their site is worthy of a link from your site, give it to them. Of course this is totally up t
Contrasted with mediation, big-picture information is always used in evaluation. For preparation purposes, both current circumstances and past history are valuable. You can help your clients organize their background information and, more important, develop a more objective perspective about their case by creating an overview of the relationship and putting the important events in the parties' and children's lives on several thematic time lines.
In the relationship time line, include when the parents met, when the parents' relationship became serious, when the parents began living together, when the parents got married, when the parents first separated, the total number of separations, the date of the last separation, and whether and when couples or family counseling was ever done. In the parenting time line, ask: What was each parent's share of custody during the first six months after separation? From the six-month mark to the end of the first year after separation? Were the significant changes in the amount of time each parent had custody over the next two years? What is the current parenting plan the parents are using?
In the personal time line, ask: Are the children's grandparents living or dead, married or not? If living, where do the grandparents live, and are they a part of the children's lives? How many siblings does the client have, and what is his or her relationship historically an
The credit card consolidation is taking all your credit card debt dues and consolidating them into one monthly payment. This way, you don't have to worry about managing the payments individually. Aside from that, it may also provide you additional benefits like Reduces your interest payments, waive late fees and miscellaneous charges, lower monthly payments, debt relief in a shorter time, improvement credit rate and help you to save more money.You will also need to know that there are actually two major types of credit card consolidation.First is through a Credit Card Counseling firm. They assist consumers by consolidating all their monthly payments into one single payment and then separate this to the creditors in behalf of the consumers until they are debt-free.Second type is through a home equity loan or other secured loan. This is done by exchanging an unsecured debt (such as credit card debt) for a secured debt (a debt backed by specific assets such as real estate).Credit card debt consolidation is not going to relief you from all you credit card debt problems but it will make your life easier to pay debt and help you to save money in the long run.
In the relationship time line, include when the parents met, when the parents' relationship became serious, when the parents began living together, when the parents got married, when the parents first separated, the total number of separations, the date of the last separation, and whether and when couples or family counseling was ever done. In the parenting time line, ask: What was each parent's share of custody during the first six months after separation? From the six-month mark to the end of the first year after separation? Were the significant changes in the amount of time each parent had custody over the next two years? What is the current parenting plan the parents are using?
In the personal time line, ask: Are the children's grandparents living or dead, married or not? If living, where do the grandparents live, and are they a part of the children's lives? How many siblings does the client have, and what is his or her relationship historically an
As many of us expect, the New Year will bring both tremendous challenges and opportunities for all of us both personally and professionally. Employers continue to face the major challenge of controlling the cost of their health insurance and other employee benefit programs. Organizations that can best get a handle on the cost of their employee benefit programs have an excellent opportunity to gain an advantage over their competition.What are some practical ways to control the cost of your health insurance? Here are a few suggestions:1) Investigate all of your traditional and consumer directed health plan options. Many companies are easing into consumer directed plans by offering them as part of a "dual choice" program.2) Out of network benefits. If your PPO network has adequate access to network providers, plan designs that strongly encourage the use of preferred providers save premium and claim dollars while the insured still gets the needed care at a discounted rate.3) Prescription drug coverage. Rx plans that encourage the use of generics and require mandatory mail order for maintenance medications are an efficient use of your benefit dollars.4) Encourage wellness. What is the old saying? An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of gain.5) Consumerism. Access to the tools necessary to be a “good” healthcare consumer will allow individuals to get the best care at the best price.If you do not have time to personally handle the suggestions made above, consider enlisting the services of an independent insurance broker that specializes in designing and evaluating health plan options. A good insurance broker should be able to save you time, money, and ultimately serve as a trusted resource for plan recommendations now and in the future.
In the personal time line, ask: Are the children's grandparents living or dead, married or not? If living, where do the grandparents live, and are they a part of the children's lives? How many siblings does the client have, and what is his or her relationship historically and presently with the siblings? What contact does the client have with extended family, and how often? Briefly, what was the client's life like from birth to age 12? From 12 to 18? From 18 to 30? What is the client's educational history? What is the client's work history? What is the client's current living situation, including all the household members? If there are minor children other than those in question, what are the custody arrangements concerning those children? What is the client's drug and alcohol history, including DUIs and hospitalizations, if any? What is the client's domestic violence history? Who was the client's family at these times?
There are certain red flags that mediators and evaluators look for; discuss these with your client in advance. Challenge his or her version of the time line and ask whether the other parent might see the time line and relationship in a different way. Your client's ability to see the situation from the other parent's perspective is an important part of starting to test his or her grip on the reality of the situation and learning to live constructively with it.
Red flags that often appear in the parents' time lines include: different representations about the existing parenting plans; different dates, particularly the date when the relationship became serious; inability to identify troubling aspects of the relationship even in retrospect, particularly if a similar dynamic is present today; glossing over or dismissal of traumatizing history; and inability to put the situation in perspective by recognizing unresolved issues from childhood or family of origin.
Never forget, and never let your clients forget, that presenting themselves as reasonable, articulate, and flexible parents is essential to success in mediation and evaluation, as well as in implementing the actual parenting plan. So remind clients to cooperate with the mediator, tell the truth, and focus on the children's best interests at the mediation. Remind them that they will get their point across better if they don't interrupt, shout, or cry. Tell them to expect that strong feelings may come up: anger, despair, or fear. And remind them that they must speak for themselves, even though counsel is routinely present at the mediation in some counties, under local rule
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