we both work too hard to have to endure financial rough spots from time-to-time. This attitude stems from her belief, her feeling, that we should be valued more.

So, with Mary Beth it really isn’t about having to watch the budget more closely, it’s about feeling as though we are not respected and rewarded fully for our efforts. Knowing the components of her money blueprint puts me in a better position to understand her frustration. Take the time to learn your partner’s bluepr

Couples in successful relationships make sure they not only earn enough to support themselves, but they learn how to manage their money in ways that do not create stress for one another. Moreover, one partner does not spend money in such as way as to create stress for the other person. Loving partners mutually decide on their budget and then both of them stick to it.

Perhaps the issue that is the main reason for most couples to fight centers around money, or more specifically, the management of money. Typically the cause of the fight is not over the actual spending of the money, but rather how the spending was, or was not, communicated to the other partner. The root cause of the conflict here is, of course, poor communication.

Last week I wrote about each one of us having a “money blueprint” that was defined for us by our parents or other adults when were children. For some, our money blueprint is healthy and balanced. Others of us experience anxiety, frustration or even guilt regarding money. The conflict over money that occurs in a personal relationship stems from the clashing of these money blueprints. One remedy is to ask your partner to define his or her blueprint. Your job is to listen and to acknowledge; not to comment or criticize.

Try to understand your partner’s views on discretionary spending. Ask your partner if it’s OK to spend money on themselves (a pair of new shoes, a trip to the spa, or a round of golf). Ask your partner if it’s OK for you to spend money on yourself. The purpose of this conversation is to zero in on your partner’s emotional state-of-mind towards money.

In my marriage, most of the fights Mary Beth and I have had regarding money have been about how we “felt” about our financial situation. Sometimes she gets anxious when unexpected bills hit and we have to budget more. Her concern isn’t how, or if, will we get through this setback, her issue centers on the fact we both work too hard to have to endure financial rough spots from time-to-time. This attitude stems from her belief, her feeling, that we should be valued more.

So, with Mary Beth it really isn’t about having to watch the budget more closely, it’s about feeling as though we are not respected and rewarded fully for our efforts. Knowing the components of her money blueprint puts me in a better position to understand her frustration. Take the time to learn your partner’s bluepri

the management of money. Typically the cause of the fight is not over the actual spending of the money, but rather how the spending was, or was not, communicated to the other partner. The root cause of the conflict here is, of course, poor communication.

Last week I wrote about each one of us having a “money blueprint” that was defined for us by our parents or other adults when were children. For some, our money blueprint is healthy and balanced. Others of us experience anxiety, frustration or even guilt regarding money. The conflict over money that occurs in a personal relationship stems from the clashing of these money blueprints. One remedy is to ask your partner to define his or her blueprint. Your job is to listen and to acknowledge; not to comment or criticize.

Try to understand your partner’s views on discretionary spending. Ask your partner if it’s OK to spend money on themselves (a pair of new shoes, a trip to the spa, or a round of golf). Ask your partner if it’s OK for you to spend money on yourself. The purpose of this conversation is to zero in on your partner’s emotional state-of-mind towards money.

In my marriage, most of the fights Mary Beth and I have had regarding money have been about how we “felt” about our financial situation. Sometimes she gets anxious when unexpected bills hit and we have to budget more. Her concern isn’t how, or if, will we get through this setback, her issue centers on the fact we both work too hard to have to endure financial rough spots from time-to-time. This attitude stems from her belief, her feeling, that we should be valued more.

So, with Mary Beth it really isn’t about having to watch the budget more closely, it’s about feeling as though we are not respected and rewarded fully for our efforts. Knowing the components of her money blueprint puts me in a better position to understand her frustration. Take the time to learn your partner’s bluepr

ty, frustration or even guilt regarding money. The conflict over money that occurs in a personal relationship stems from the clashing of these money blueprints. One remedy is to ask your partner to define his or her blueprint. Your job is to listen and to acknowledge; not to comment or criticize.

Try to understand your partner’s views on discretionary spending. Ask your partner if it’s OK to spend money on themselves (a pair of new shoes, a trip to the spa, or a round of golf). Ask your partner if it’s OK for you to spend money on yourself. The purpose of this conversation is to zero in on your partner’s emotional state-of-mind towards money.

In my marriage, most of the fights Mary Beth and I have had regarding money have been about how we “felt” about our financial situation. Sometimes she gets anxious when unexpected bills hit and we have to budget more. Her concern isn’t how, or if, will we get through this setback, her issue centers on the fact we both work too hard to have to endure financial rough spots from time-to-time. This attitude stems from her belief, her feeling, that we should be valued more.

So, with Mary Beth it really isn’t about having to watch the budget more closely, it’s about feeling as though we are not respected and rewarded fully for our efforts. Knowing the components of her money blueprint puts me in a better position to understand her frustration. Take the time to learn your partner’s bluepr

. Ask your partner if it’s OK for you to spend money on yourself. The purpose of this conversation is to zero in on your partner’s emotional state-of-mind towards money.

In my marriage, most of the fights Mary Beth and I have had regarding money have been about how we “felt” about our financial situation. Sometimes she gets anxious when unexpected bills hit and we have to budget more. Her concern isn’t how, or if, will we get through this setback, her issue centers on the fact we both work too hard to have to endure financial rough spots from time-to-time. This attitude stems from her belief, her feeling, that we should be valued more.

So, with Mary Beth it really isn’t about having to watch the budget more closely, it’s about feeling as though we are not respected and rewarded fully for our efforts. Knowing the components of her money blueprint puts me in a better position to understand her frustration. Take the time to learn your partner’s bluepr

we both work too hard to have to endure financial rough spots from time-to-time. This attitude stems from her belief, her feeling, that we should be valued more.

So, with Mary Beth it really isn’t about having to watch the budget more closely, it’s about feeling as though we are not respected and rewarded fully for our efforts. Knowing the components of her money blueprint puts me in a better position to understand her frustration. Take the time to learn your partner’s blueprint. By doing so, you will find yourself in a position of offering support, not resentment.